Snaps
Era of the Witch
Posted December 30 2011
Fiddlers fiddled in the field beneath a waning moon.
Incantations were spelled out for chickens laying soon.
By night, the farmer and his wife, red cheeks and breasts a-bare
Danced by roaring firelight without a conscious care.
By day, their secret's kept within their life upon the farm.
Witches unknown by all the villagers for all their country charm.
Bloody heat of the summer sun unbalanced in its blaze.
Spontaneous combustion plagues all those who dare its heated haze.
Perhaps tonight we'll dance again beneath the waning moon;
And bind a spell to reduce the sun so chance be raining soon.
Comments (3)
Version 1 posted on December 30 2011 at 5:44PM
HungerGamesGirl59 Wrote:
The first line "fiddlers fiddled" wasn't that poetic. It felt like you were trying to hard and rushed through this. Better luck next time!
June 16 2012 at 11:51AM
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ReplyThe Gorgon Wrote:
I liked the piece a lot, but the final two lines ruin the flow/scene. I enjoyed the secrecy with with the farmer and wife carry on their apotropaism, as it evoked a Salem witch trials/Blair Witch sort of narrative. However, the narrator inviting the reader to join in (and merely for a rain dance, no less) seems to come out of the blue. How does the narrator (now first person, after delivering the work from a third person POV) have membership in these rituals? And even if he/she does, it would be far more compelling if the reader were invited to partake in something more sinister.
January 02 2012 at 10:09PM
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ReplyFrederick Bridger Wrote:
I like the image and the mini-story this tells. I've never, however, been a fan of rhyming couplets, but that's mere personal taste. The title doesn't seem to work for me; perhaps we can talk more about this offline.
December 31 2011 at 2:13PM
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