Voices in Space

Charlotte Storm Wrote:

It was beyond mediocre, it was STUNNING! I can tell you for sure, I certainly loved it. That was a great piece!!! Good job!!!!!!!! ;)

April 12 2012 at 9:09AM

Venus in Furs Wrote:

Very patriotic! I really liked version 2, and how you tell us outright to put ourselves in the shoes of soldiers, almost daring us to do it. Very powerful. You prove this is easier said than done!

March 09 2012 at 9:53AM

C.R.Moroney Wrote:

I like this, its an excellent warning/tribute to the soldiers life. Aside from some repetition which I feel is purposeful I find this to be a fascinating and respectful piece? I don't know how exactly to describe it but I shall use respectful in the stead of a better term.

March 09 2012 at 4:07AM

back2back Wrote:

I liked this, fabulous tribute to the soldiers! sometimes i feel it repeats a little too much, even though i understand what you are going for.. because it fits perfectly with the ending! in a few spots i noticed the flow wasnt the best ofr example: "even though there is no point to war, i'd go and be a soldier" This is probably just something you can work on.. just try and keep a good steady pattern. Congrats! This is wonderful work!

March 08 2012 at 9:14PM

FridgeMonkey14 Wrote:

Thanks everyone for the amazing feedback! You are all goig to help me become a better poet (:

March 02 2012 at 9:41PM

Yorkie Lover Wrote:

Your passion and belief definitely shine through here. I think some of the rhymes are a little obvious, but the simplicity of the work also adds charm, and makes it accessible to all audiences. This feels like a poetic salute to our fallen heroes. I could imagine it in song!

March 02 2012 at 8:27PM

B-ELLA Books Wrote:

It definitely deserves a Newbery medal Can I get your autograph?

March 02 2012 at 6:15PM

BWasserman Wrote:

I think this is a heartfelt tribute, but I somehow want you to be more specific and descriptive. Maybe focus in on certain events in a soldier's life or career, his/her family, give us glimpses into a soldier's life that make us experience what you're saying. Right now it sounds more like a Hallmark card, or a presidential address. It's too politically correct and cookie-cutter. I kind of want you to make us uncomfortable, be gory, be sad, be beautiful, or all of the above. About the title, I think it's great, and I love how it's repeated throughout the poem. I think it could be a cool line to end on, and would be a good way to really bring your point full-circle.

March 02 2012 at 6:01PM

FridgeMonkey14 Wrote:

Sorry everyone it won't let me post it as if it were a peom.

March 01 2012 at 9:53PM