Snaps
The Entirety of the Sky
Posted October 25 2012
It was moving day, and one of the last things to load onto the borrowed truck was the full length mirror that had lived upon a door for so many years.
We pried it from its ancient perch, and two of us carried it through the house, stepping with light feet over boxes and the odd item waiting to be loaded.
Once outside, and for a reason I cannot remember, we turned it parallel to the ground so it faced the sky above.
To look into the depths of that glassy, glossy surface was to astound the mind, as the sky above was now captured, in its entirety, and held in our hands.
I wondered then, what would happen if I released the old mirror and allowed myself to fall into it. Would I fall down into the sky?
The question took me, and I found myself letting go and watching as that sky-filled surface fell toward the ground with impossible slowness.
There was a crash of light, a shattering of the sky, and less important, the sound of a mirror as it went to pieces.
It was a thing of beauty, the breaking of the mirror, no author of ill fortune, I was sure.
And when I looked at what had happened. When I knelt down and peered into the ragged, jagged pieces of leftover mirror...
I saw that each remaining bit, no matter how large or small, yes, each one, held in it, the entirety of the sky.
Comments (20)
Version 1 posted on August 15 2011 at 8:31PM
misty2013 Wrote:
A beautiful piece of observation, poetic in its capture of an enchanting moment, and beyond that (after enjoying it as it is) loaded with images charged with the feeling of a modern myth.
October 25 2012 at 8:33PM
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Replymisty2013 Wrote:
A beautiful piece of observation, poetic in its capture of an enchanting moment, and beyond that (after enjoying it as it is) loaded with images charged with the feeling of a modern myth.
October 25 2012 at 8:33PM
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ReplyPausha Wrote:
This made me smile and I thought "lovely!" :) The spirit of this piece is lovely
October 22 2012 at 11:37PM
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ReplyRAZ Wrote:
"...if I released the mirror and allowed myself to fall into it. Would I fall down into the sky?" That line's going to keep me awake tonight...So much in it...I envy your being able to write such a profound piece...
September 04 2012 at 8:18PM
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ReplyGoldphish Bleu Wrote:
Very vivid... I like it!
August 08 2012 at 10:18AM
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ReplyHungerGamesGirl59 Wrote:
Loved this. It felt real and the descriptions were sharp and detailed.
June 13 2012 at 2:24PM
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ReplyHungerGamesGirl59 Wrote:
Loved this. It felt real and the descriptions were sharp and detailed.
June 13 2012 at 2:24PM
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ReplyThomas Dargan Wrote:
Horrors you can't edit comments and they don't always follow complex formatting. I Tried to say, 1. Had to read twice to get this right: turned it parallel to the ground. 2. I want this to be a little more "accidental:" The question took me, and I found myself letting go. 3. I don't want to worry about this side issue: no author of ill fortune, I was sure. The idea is so true. You can't break a mirror that's pointing to the sky.
April 01 2012 at 9:25PM
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ReplyThomas Dargan Wrote:
had to read twice to get this right turned it parallel to the ground I want this to be a little more "accidental" The question took me, and I found myself letting go I don't want to worry about this side issue no author of ill fortune, I was sure. So tree. You can't break a mirror that's pointing to the sky.
April 01 2012 at 9:20PM
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ReplyBWasserman Wrote:
Great use of metaphor. This is my favorite of your works.
March 31 2012 at 10:08AM
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ReplyMandy Wrote:
I love this sentence."I saw that each remaining bit, no matter how large or small, yes, each one, held in it, the entirety of the sky."
February 20 2012 at 12:57PM
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ReplyInked Up Wrote:
Anyone broken could benefit by reading this. Basically, I mean everyone.
February 08 2012 at 2:28PM
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ReplyVerity Hill Wrote:
I only review things I like, but don't waste words shoving pom-poms up people. Please forgive me: The first two sentences could be merged: "the last thing left to load onto the moving truck was the full-length mirror which had lived upon a door for so many years," although I'm not sure how a long mirror could live upon, or above, a door, unless the header defied sensible architecture. Is "lived" what you really want it to have done? Why, specifically? "Lived," like "ancient," is a placeholder, while you're waiting for a better word to invite itself over for dinner. You got some wordiness to work on, but I bet you know that. Why not just make it the last thing, comprehensively? Why the liquor store boxes full of mouldy porn? Why the debris on the sidelines detracting focus away from the point you're preparing to make? If it doesn't add, it detracts, from a piece this length. Think concise. Be sure. And "pried?" Did you screw it into the studs, drill holes, pound in drywall plugs? Or is it more likely it was hung on hooks, especially since it was also supported incomprehensibly by the door. I'm not hiring you as my handyman. Why mention the reason if you can't remember it? Often impulses are not accompanied by reason. Why don't you just go with something like that. Sky is comprised more of heights than depths, besides which, everybody says "depths" when they want their piece to read deep, whether it is otherwise vapid or not. Don't be like them. You have a choice. Can you not get more specific than "astound the mind?" Astound how? Why? It's a word that belongs to less decisive prose, which I find irritating. Obviously the question took you. You're writing about it. Quit qualifying your observations with "allowed" and "found." It's scaffolding. Go straight for the meat, with your teeth. I could say more, but already feel like a dick. This piece is poignant, you just need to let the images stand by themselves, and not clutter them with superfluity and your conscious imprint, no matter how fascinating you find your own process. You'll discover more, and be frustrated less, if you treat writing more like archaeology than construction. Decide whether the mirror is a reflection of your personal thoughts or something more universal. There's a lot of you in it, even though it is supposed to frame something more encompassing. I always send flowers after I do this to people, or a gift basket full of shrunken heads, even if but virtually.
September 01 2011 at 12:24PM
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ReplyRAZ Wrote:
...What impresses me is that your comment is a story itself...Let's say "The Entirety...." wasn't written. The comment could stand alone as a word picture, mini-essay, or sketch...It would certainly give the reader much to think about.
September 05 2012 at 9:28AM
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ReplyEugenio RodrÃguez Wrote:
Who are you, Verity Hill? Were you sent by the gods? We need people like you here. Please do not disappear . . . I'll post a mini short story tomorrow and I'd like you to rip it apart. I would appreciate it. It's called "Abuelo" (Spanish for Grandpa). I know what the "problem" is with it, but I'd like to see if we coincide. What could I add about Scott's piece? I like the rhythm (we are condemned to short sentences by the e-era; no use fighting it). But the story comes across as too clever. I do think you have an image there that might be better developed in a poem. In the Middle Ages, folks were constantly made aware of that other dimension above us. We've lost that perspective. Maybe future generations will regain it as space exploration make the "sky" inescapable.
September 04 2012 at 11:48PM
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ReplyOkieJay Wrote:
Now THAT'S what I call constructive criticism. How about sharpening your pen and reading "The Wall of Forgetfulness?" I welcome your flowers or shrunken heads, whichever you bestow.
July 20 2012 at 6:47PM
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ReplyThe Poetic Bot Wrote:
I like the contrast of the author's personal and private experience to the ambiguous "we" in the story. It feels like we, the readers, are the privileged ones for being able to get into his/her head at that moment. And I am thankful for that touching glimpse!
August 24 2011 at 10:51PM
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ReplyVenus in Furs Wrote:
R.W., love how "the sky above was now captured, in its entirety, and held in our hands." This idea, or feeling we get in certain moments is really extraordinary, and is evoked well through the literal image of the mirror reflecting the sky, which the speaker in turn is holding. Though we may feel broken, this poem reminds us that, just as the broken shards of glass, we still hold "the entirety of the sky." Gorgeous moral, conveyed perfectly and without the kind of over-wrought-sentimentality that too-often destroys an important message.
August 15 2011 at 10:16PM
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ReplyThe Gorgon Wrote:
R.W., this story is the perfect size -- the pacing, while perhaps not usually construed as a significant facet in stories so short, is just terrific,. I love your description of "prying" the mirror "from its ancient perch" and fearing "fall[ing] down into the sky" (though I might choose either ragged or jagged in describing the shards, not both). All in all, great work!
August 15 2011 at 9:11PM
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ReplyLanie Wrote:
I very much enjoyed reading this piece. The suggestion that each shattered piece of mirror could encompass the entire sky was a perfect, beautiful ending.
August 15 2011 at 9:05PM
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